Facts of my Childhood

FACT: In the fourth grade, I drank a glass of toilet water to impress my best friends older cousin (who was a boy). It worked.

FACT: In elementary school, my Razor scooter had orange handle bars and lightup wheels. It was amazingly cool.

FACT: I used to spit on people who smoked. My parents were not pleased. But secretly proud.

FACT: I was a pumpkin for my first Halloween.

FACT: I was a very PRETTY baby and toddler. Which is not a bragging thing, it’s a true thing.

FACT: My parents had to bribe me to stay in my car seat with gum. Otherwise I would climb out. Apparently, I climbed most things, quietly.

FACT: Aladdin was by far my favorite Disney movie. My dad still quotes it sometimes.

FACT: I broke my foot in the sixth grade by tripping over my own shoe. It was casted on Halloween. My dad pushed me around in a wheel chair, and I got a ton of candy that year.

FACT: My teddy bear was named Simon by my father, after Simon and Garfunkel. I don’t believe I’ve ever actually listened to Simon and Garfunkel. Simon still sits in my room, and he still wears the yellow coat I stole from my sister’s baby doll collection.

FACT: Steph and I’s Barbie’s were always naked. We’d take them into the bath with us, so their hair was permanently ratty. We tried to blow-dry their hair, and it started to smoke.

FACT: On Sunday mornings before church, my dad would blow-dry my hair. He’d be my stylist, and he’s ask if I wanted Cinderella hair, or Belle hair, or Odette hair.

FACT: When we went to buy a kitten when I was 8, Diego was curled up, fast asleep in the corner of the display window. I was way mad when my mom picked him, complaining that he was way lazy and boring. And look how it turned out.

(FACT: Diego is currently lying on my arms, watching me type like usual, making things very difficult. He is purring, because he loves me.)

FACT: I’ve only played video games a handful of times in my whole life. Steph and I weren’t into them. We played computer games.

FACT: I grew up on public television. We didn’t get cable until I was thirteen, when it showed up for free. Arthur is still my all-time favorite show.

FACT: I used to wear my tutu over my clothes. Everyday. For like, two years. That or bathing suits.

FACT: This was way fun to do. I think everyone should do a FACTS OF MY CHILDHOOD.

I couldn't find a picture of me as a chitlin on my computer. I think this was when I was 14. Oh well. Still funny.