My Life Is Average FAILED

I'm quite upset.

To date, I've submitted at least 10 stories to Mylifeisaverage.com, and as far as I'm aware, NONE of them have been published. LAME. I admit, not all where fantastic, but some were decent. Therefore, I'll post them here, just so I feel like I haven't failed completely.

1. Today, I took my friends to Wal-Mart. Not wanting to go in, I stayed in my car. I thought, “Gez, it would suck if my car battery died.” Guess whose car battery died? MLIA.

2. Today, as I drove in a rural part of town, I came across a white picket fence with “Post No Signs” every three feet. While thinking that this was rather ironic, I saw a giant neon orange poster with the word “SIGN” in big letters. Thank you, rebellious teenagers. You made my day. MLIA.

3. Last night, while trying to fall asleep, I thought of the MLIA posts I had read earlier. I giggled to myself for over twenty minutes and woke up my roommate, making her mumble incoherently under her breath. When I finally fell asleep, I dreamt oh Harry Potter, ninjas, and coloring books. Thanks, MLIA. MLIA.

4. Today, while at lunch, I decided that "Crossroads" is a stupid name for the campus cafeteria. I then spent twenty minutes trying to decide what to eat. Touche, cafeteria. Touche. MLIA.

5. Today, my sister brought her fiancé to meet our family. Referring to his last name, Peterson, my grandma asked “O-N or E-N?” He looked confused, pointed to himself, and said slowly, “Greg.” I think I’m going to like this guy. MLIA.

6. Today, my roommate was making cookies. Seeing the dirty beater, I decided to steal some cookie dough. I licked it. Not cookie dough. Crisco. MLIA.

7. Today, my college friends were debating grocery stores in other states. One friend says, "Dude! You don't have Vons in Utah?" Another interjects in a scholarly voice, "But remember, Vons spelled backwards Snov." They all nodded solemnly and said "True that." ? I'm confused. MLIA

8. Today, my mom and I were trying on clothes at the mall. Somewhere in the dressing room, someone lets out the biggest burp ever. We all giggle to ourselves until some lady cries out, “DIANA! That’s not very ladylike!” A little voice then responds, “I’m not a lady, I’m five.” Best kid ever. MLIA.

9. Today, I was eating cheesecake, and my fork went through the plate AND INTO MY LEG. It hurt. But cheesecake made it better. But only kind of. MLIA.

10. Today, when I came home to my apartment, I heard random singing. Turns out, two of our guy friends were hiding in two different closets in the hall. One would sing “OH! WE’RE HALFWAY THERE!” at the top of his lungs, and the other would respond “OH! LIVIN’ ON A PRAYER!” I think we’ve done Bon Jovi justice. MLIA.