Panic

So, I have a true and serious fear of killer whales. Thanks to both a heinous video shown in my CP Bio class freshman year of high school, and the subsequent nightmares. Which you may or may not have known, depending on whether we've ever watched a commercial for Sea World together.

(See post: Sea Life Of Doom for further reference)

So, last time I was at Barnes and Noble, there was this nasty coffee table book RIGHT next to the checkout line, where you couldn't help but see it... And what evil, gleaming creatures were featured on the cover? You got it: killer whales. Three of them, bobbing up next to an ice float. Poor ice float.

Despite the trauma that ensued due to the sneak attack viewing of this book (no, really, guess what my nightmare was about the next day? That's right: killer whales), I had pushed the incident out of my mind. So, when I go to buy myself a book today, guess what I saw? You're good at this game! THE KILLER WHALE BOOK.

UGGGGHHH.

So I decided to do something about it. I casually slid over, picked the book up, and although I wanted to throw it into an incinerator, there weren't any handy. I just flipped it over instead. Now, there's a nice polar bear smiling up from the stack of books instead of that traumatizing trio of demon whales.

You're welcome, fellow Barnes and Noble patrons.

Also: certain people (who shall go unnamed) have tried to convince me that my fears are unwarranted. How can killer whales be scary? They're like sea-panda bears! They have permanent smiles on their faces!

To that I say:

Your argument is invalid.