The Mormon Vibe

So, last night my friends as school discovered I was Mormon.

I was listening to the talk about how in middle school, one of them would take shots of tequilla before class. And, being the goody-goody girl that I am, I gasped, "Really? In middle school?"

Which then, eventually led to question: "You know, I mean, how old were you when you had your first drink?"

And, knowing it was one of those moments, I hesitated for a second, then smiled and said softly but confidently, "Well... never. I don't drink."

And instantly, she got this excited look on her face, and said, "Are you Mormon?"

Taken aback by her lack of skepticism, I charged on ahead with a happy, "Yeah."

"Ah," she replied, "I can tell. You've got that vibe."

And then I got to hear a very interesting story about how her sister was Mormon, but a "bad Mormon," to which I just laughed... until she finished the story with how her sister hooked up with a guy who was on his mission, and she got pregnant. "Um... yeah. That's like... really, really bad," I admitted.

And now, since he had been "to temple" and had "more covenants," he was back in Samoa and getting excommunicated. The sister wasn't... I didn't ask what happened to the "she got pregnant" part. Somehow I don't think I want to know. That's probably playing into the guy's excommunication, as well.

Anyways. On a happier note.

I wonder, exactly, what the "vibe" is. We hope it's that we shine with the light of Christ, and the happiness it brings (which it does)... but what do people see?

Do I have the vibe because I come across naive and innocent? Is it because I carefully avoid conversations about getting drunk with my friends last week? Or the way the strongest language I use is "Oh crap"? Maybe it was how when we talked about future families, I said I really wanted kids because I felt like a nuturer. Is it my happy-go-lucky nature, my enthusiasm and optimism (which also goes along with coming across naive and innocent)?

Somehow I don't think people always hold "the Mormon vibe" in a positive light. Not that I'm ashamed of it, not at all. I'm just sad that people look down on us because we're/I'm happy, thinking that we don't know pain and grief or anything about the real world, because we live in our own little bubble. Because it's not true. I may be naive about some things, but I know pain. I know misery. I've fought my own demons, demons most people don't even know about, most can't even imagine. I've sunk to the lowest low, been dragged to hell and back. Just because I'm Mormon and I'm "sheltered" from a lot of things (which isn't true... I've chosen to avoid things that I don't think would make my life any better) doesn't mean I haven't lived. In order to have light, you have to experience darkness. The only reason why I'm able to find true joy in life now is because I have known the opposite side. Maybe my problems weren't brought upon by getting myself in bad situations because I was drunk or doing drugs, or because I got pregnant on a one night stand and now have to be a single mom as a teenager. Maybe I didn't have to live through having neglective or alcholic parents. Choosing to live the standards of the church takes away a lot of those challenges. But I can promise you, nothing can take away the heartache and challenges that come with simply being alive. We have our agency for a reason. And whether I make a wrong choice and have to suffer the consequences, or am effected by someone else's bad decision that I had nothing to do with, bad things happen to me, too. To all Mormons.

I don't know. I guess I'm still peeved for not always being taken seriously just because I'm Mormon. Whatever. I love that I have the truth in my life, I'm grateful for all the blessings in my life, and I'm glad that I didn't have to go through my hard times alone: God was always there with me, helping me along.

So... there, I guess. Haha. That's all.

:)