In Which I Get Backup On Closet World Hate: Closet World Part III

**Note: this is the third post in a sequence about a particular commercial spreading filth and hatred throughout the San Diego county. In order for this to make complete sense, scroll down four posts to the first note, then scroll up to the next immediate entry for part two. Then it's just one jump up back to this one. Or be the little rebel you know you are and read them backward. You little rebel, you.

So, Mom and I were watching TV today, and guess what commercial came on? Mmmm-hmmm, you know it. Closet World. 

Now, it's been a few weeks since the jingle fiasco, so I didn't immediately start imploding. But then MOM starts freaking and is like, "Oh my gosh, I HATE the dancing robot guy they have in their commercials! See! There it is! It's so creepy! I hate him"

And suddenly I'm imploding for a completely different reason, and I'm trying to explain that I've 

Literally just blogged about how much I hate this commercial, but it seems like I'm trying to upstage her hate, like I'm trying to one-up-her in the dramatics (which, let's be honest, I am the most dramatic one in this entire family, if only by unintended exaggeration alone), so I just shut up and mourn lost Closet World jingle innocence.

Also, way to show that you never read my blog, Mom. Not that it's worth checking all that often because I tend to not update, but maybe once a month or so would update you on my current rants and obsessions. And settle the score, proving that Closet World commercial hatred was totally mine first. I hated it before it was cool. I'm the hipster, here. 

(PS, Mom: This is dramatic sarcasm and self-deprication used for comedic purposes, not a passive-aggressive lash-out. I don't want your feelings to be hurt. Cause every time I mention you in a post, you seem like I hurt your feelings, which is not my intention. Like when I mention the time when I was dying of food poising from Subway and you slept through it and you were upset because you felt like it showed you in a negative light, that was not my intention. I was just trying to give details that made the story even more interesting and dramatic. I thought the whole thing was funny, actually. So, yeah.)

What was my point here? Oh yeah, Closet World. The important thing to note here is: I'm not crazy. Someone else hates Closet World commercials, too. The jingle is wretched, and now that Mom mentioned it, the dancing robot guy (what is he supposed to be, anyways? He's like a disproportionate silver Michelin man) is awful too. You haven't got anything right. You may make totally sweet closet, who knows, but since I'm judging you completely on your commercial, I've concluded that you are complete rubbish. 

So, put that in your juice box and suck it, Closet World.