11.10.2014

Flying: Part Two

(October 27, 2014, continued)

So, flying.

I don't know if flying ends up being crazy ordeal for everyone, or if it's just me. Technically it ends up being more "crazy" than "ordeal", because apparently I attract the crazy. But it's always... Entertaining. I have never flown somewhere and not gained a story to tell. Literally.

Currently, I am in the air. On a plane. In case that wasn't obvious. Cruising over California, on my way to spend Halloween with Steph and her family, which I'm stoked about, but I'll talk bout that later. I have to get there first.

I've found that most of the crazy and ordeals happen in the airports, more than the planes themselves. People are chatty when flying. Like, really chatty. Also, cranky. This is probably because there's a lot of emotions involved with flying, and vacations, and especially the work -related  events (if the crankiness of business people is anything to judge by. Dude, business people, airport personnel are just doing their own jobs. You're not the only working person in the world. Tone down the attitude, maybe?). Which usually just means nobody is at their best. Travel brings out the worst in everyone. And the inner chatterbox in 89% of people.

And what do I hate? Having long conversations with strangers. I can do the casual answer-your-question or sitting-next-to-each-other-polite-comment, you know, the usual day-to-day polite-talk. But airports aren't your usual day-to-day activities. Also, there are exponentially larger amounts of old ladies in airports. Which means: your chance of getting sucked into a "let's-share-our-life-stories" conversation is astronomically high. Especially if you are me.

We're still not sure what it is about me that gives off the "TELL ME YOUR LIFE STORY!" vibe, but it's probably a combination of my tendency to smile at people, the fact that I'm often traveling with my parents (it says "I'm a good, family girl, but I'm also sort of a third wheel, and lacking a conversing partner, which SHOULD DEFINITELY BE YOU"), and I'm totally uncomfortable talking to strangers for more than two minutes (they can smell it on me, like fear).

So. Yes. This is my main gripe with flying, mainly because it ALWAYS HAPPENS. It becomes funny in the predictability of it. I really, really want to get a tee-shirt to wear to airports that says something about being an introvert or socially awkward to ward people off. CHRISTMAS, PEOPLE. I NEED. FLYING SHIRT. CHECK MY PINTEREST.

But there are more interesting flying experiences. Another big one is that I HATE it when people talk on flights. Because, mainly, it's ALWAYS strangers having life-story conversations with other strangers, which is, like, doubly bad as ME being involved in the conversation. It's TWO people I don't want to know about, and I'm forced to hear their life-stories. Because, of course, you HAVE TO SHOUT TO BE HEARD ON AN AIRPLANE, BECAUSE ITS LOUD, WHICH MEANS THAT THE WHOLE PLANE HEARS ABOUT YOUR WHOLE LIFE AND WITNESSES YOUR SAD FLIRTING, AND REALLY, I JUST DON'T. 

Guess who's behind me right now? Despite it being a less than half full flight? Yeah. I'm telling you. There's a certain vibe I give off that attracts these people.

Other strange things that have happened lately at airports:
1. A lesbian that I had acknowledge-smiled at on my flight winked at me when we passed each in the bathroom (in the airport). The fact that it was in the bathroom made it hundred times weirder.
2. A teenage girl talked to me non-stop throughout an hour and a half flight. I mean, nonstop. She didn't stop when I took out my book read. She still talked to me when I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. She STILL talked when I took out my earphones, put them in, closed my eyes, turned away, and tried desperately to sleep. I learned that day to never compliment anyone's backpack, because that's what started the never-ending conversation.
3. The old lady sitting next to me had a hobby of becoming friends with flight attendants-- cue life-story conversations-- and liked to give them little angel pins. Admittedly, the pin was really cute. But it was reply awkward for everyone around.
4. The old lady that followed me through 2 airports. She sat beside and told me about her grandkids for an hour before we boarded, and when we got of to transfer, so did she. So she followed us into a restaurant and randomly sat down at our table and continued to tell me her life story. It was so strange.  I would have been a better sport had my parents not been snickering the whole time: I'm a magnet to these people.
...... More I can't think of right now. I'm getting a little motion-sick.

I'm gonna read now and try not to take Dramamine. Dude, I'm so stoked... I'm going to Idaho! I'm gonna go see my sister and brother-in-law and my pseudo babies-- my little niece and nephew! And I get them all to myself... Just me visiting. And it's Halloween! I get to do all the Halloween-y things with the kids! This is like the first time Ellie (3) is really going to understand trick-or-treating and all that jazz, and this is Cameron's first-- wait, no, no it's not. He was a month old last Halloween. This is his first conscious Halloween! The first Halloween he gets to run around in a costume! The first time I've dressed up in years! I made a sweet mermaid costume and everything! It's gonna be so incredibly fun!

Totallllllllllllllly worth the flights.

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